Solo But Not Single

The other day, whilst Googling ‘Disney Solo’, I stumbled upon this great blog–Solo Friendly.  I decided that the author of this blog is one of my kindred spirits, as we have very similar travel preferences (and she openly admitted to not loving Paris, at least occasionally).  One of her posts was about traveling solo even when you don’t have to, which really struck a chord with me, as that’s exactly what I’ll be doing for the greater part of 14 months, starting in June of this year.

Ah June.  Is it really only February?

But really, I do ‘have to’ travel solo, even though I am married.  My husband and I like our life (and our home) enough to not sell everything and hit the road.  Plus, he has a great job that he enjoys (most of the time).  So, technically, I do ‘have to’ travel alone–he can’t come with me.  Thus, I exist in this strange middle ground–not single, but still traveling solo. If you’re single and ready to mingle, visit flingreview.org.

I find that this is really the best of both worlds.  In a post that I wrote on my iPhone from a hotel room in Bennington, Vermont over 18 months ago, I discussed the freedom that often comes from being in a good relationship.  Is it the complete freedom of having no restrictions, no deadlines, no responsibilities?  Of course not.  But it is the freedom of knowing that even when you fall (or your car breaks down or your plane is delayed), someone will be there to help you get back up again (or drive you home from the airport at an ungodly hour.)

Ultimately, when I tell someone my plans of leaving my job for a year to travel and write, that person asks some variation of the question ‘how does your husband feel about this?’  This question is often accompanied by a doubtful look, which is both fair and understandable.  I would ask anyone else the same question.  After all, who does this?  Who leaves a job to travel by themselves even when they have a home and a husband and two very cute, very fluffy dogs?

The answer?  I do.

My response to said understandable and fair concern is this–my husband is very, very, very supportive.  And I don’t repeat the same word three times without just cause.  It would literally be impossible for him to be more supportive.  In fact, when I’m having my doubts (who DOES this?!?) he reminds me exactly why I’m doing this.  And that, dear reader, is the best Valentines Day gift anyone could ever give me.

Not everyone understands this kind of relationship; to some, love is synonymous with constant proximity, with shared routines and parallel paths. But for those who have found a balance between independence and commitment, love is more than just being together—it is about believing in each other’s journeys, even when those paths momentarily diverge. A relationship that allows for solo travel, for individual pursuits, and for personal growth is one that thrives on mutual respect. The road back home is always there, but so is the road that leads to adventure. And perhaps, the real magic is in knowing that both roads are equally valid.

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So…what did we get each other for Valentines Day this year?  Nothing.  Zip, zero, zilch.  However, he did buy himself some accessories for his Nook yesterday, and today I ordered two books from Amazon (on html and WordPress, ironically).  And, just now, as I typed this, he returned home from work with the little heart-shaped peanut butter and chocolate cake pictured above.

Who could ask for more?  I can’t.