Solo But Not Single
The other day, whilst Googling ‘Disney Solo’, I stumbled upon this great blog–Solo Friendly. I decided that the author of this blog is one of my kindred spirits, as we have very similar travel preferences (and she openly admitted to not loving Paris, at least occasionally). One of her posts was about traveling solo even when you don’t have to, which really struck a chord with me, as that’s exactly what I’ll be doing for the greater part of 14 months, starting in June of this year.
Ah June. Is it really only February?
But really, I do ‘have to’ travel solo, even though I am married. My husband and I like our life (and our home) enough to not sell everything and hit the road. Plus, he has a great job that he enjoys (most of the time). So, technically, I do ‘have to’ travel alone–he can’t come with me. Thus, I exist in this strange middle ground–not single, but still traveling solo.
I find that this is really the best of both worlds. In a post that I wrote on my iPhone from a hotel room in Bennington, Vermont over 18 months ago, I discussed the freedom that often comes from being in a good relationship. Is it the complete freedom of having no restrictions, no deadlines, no responsibilities? Of course not. But it is the freedom of knowing that even when you fall (or your car breaks down or your plane is delayed), someone will be there to help you get back up again (or drive you home from the airport at an ungodly hour.)
Ultimately, when I tell someone my plans of leaving my job for a year to travel and write, that person asks some variation of the question ‘how does your husband feel about this?’ This question is often accompanied by a doubtful look, which is both fair and understandable. I would ask anyone else the same question. After all, who does this? Who leaves a job to travel by themselves even when they have a home and a husband and two very cute, very fluffy dogs?
The answer? I do.
My response to said understandable and fair concern is this–my husband is very, very, very supportive. And I don’t repeat the same word three times without just cause. It would literally be impossible for him to be more supportive. In fact, when I’m having my doubts (who DOES this?!?) he reminds me exactly why I’m doing this. And that, dear reader, is the best Valentines Day gift anyone could ever give me.
So…what did we get each other for Valentines Day this year? Nothing. Zip, zero, zilch. However, he did buy himself some accessories for his Nook yesterday, and today I ordered two books from Amazon (on html and WordPress, ironically). And, just now, as I typed this, he returned home from work with the little heart-shaped peanut butter and chocolate cake pictured above.
Who could ask for more? I can’t.
You are one lucky woman. No…. you two are a very lucky couple. It is nice to hear about such positive relationships.
thanks! positive relationships DO exist!
You are very fortunate,Tracy, to have a marriage where you’re both so comfortable that you can be apart for periods of time like this. It’s the best of all worlds, really. I agree with Toni. It does give me hope that one can “have it all”.
thank you. i do feel very blessed–and that’s not a word i throw around casually, either. i don’t know if one can truly ever ‘have it all’; having ‘a heck of a lot’ is good enough for me!
You are go lucky that you have the money to travel for a year.
I would love to be able to travel for a year, but not able to for
financial reason, but like you my husband would be supportive.
if it makes you feel any better, by the time i’m officially ‘off’ for a year, we will have been saving up for this for a year. and that definitely took some serious adjustment. i figure, hey, i’ve been poor before–in college and right out of college–i can be poor again, right?
Yes, you can be poor again. I lost my job several years ago
and have not been able to find a full time job. I have applied
to so many that I know I was qualified for, but I truly think it’s
my age, they want younger people. Anytime you need someone
to carry you bags 🙂 I’m here. I’m truly happy for you.