Things I’ve Learned: The Solo Traveler and The Couple
Am I sad when I travel solo? What do you think?
I love to travel solo. In fact, it may just be my favorite way to travel. I can do what I want when I want at the pace that I want. If I want to wander around a park all day taking photos of trees, well, I can. And I do. Additionally, I find that I meet so many more people when I’m traveling solo, simply because I’m more approachable when I’m by myself–and because I’m outgoing to a frightening degree.
But I’ve written all about my love for solo travel before, so most of you know this about me already. What I have not addressed is something that I discovered during my most recent trip, another solo cruise, this time out of New Orleans sailing to the Western Caribbean. I discovered that there are two different types of couples that travel together. And being able to quickly differentiate between the two types is very important for the successful solo traveler.
Let’s call the first type of traveling couples ‘butterflies’. Butterfly couples are good for the solo traveler. They are outgoing, enthusiastic, and friendly. They will invite you to dinner, chat with you at the bar, or offer to take a photo of you with your own camera (after witnessing you awkwardly try to take your own) even though you are solo and they are not.
Befriend the butterfly couple. After all, as a solo traveler, you’d seriously limit your social opportunities if you only sought out other solo travelers to befriend. Butterfly couples are happy traveling almost anywhere, because there’s always something new to see and someone new to talk to. Because of this, you’ll find butterfly couples all over the world–in cities and small towns, in theme parks and on cruise ships, hiking, biking, and sipping wine. After this you can also be planning a vacation in Laguna Hills.
This type of couple is the type of couple I’ve always been a part of. Even when traveling with my husband–rare as that is these days–we are still open to meeting new people and being generally social. Because this is how I am when I travel as part of a pair, I assumed this was how everyone was. Not so.
The second type of traveling couples should probably be referred to as ‘caterpillars’. And by ‘caterpillars’, I am referring to the caterpillar that’s still ensconced in his cocoon, completely unaware of what is going on around him. Caterpillar couples travel so that they can be together. They want to spend time with each other–and no one else. This type of couple would be well served to hole up in an all inclusive somewhere, spending their vacation days ordering room service and gazing into each other’s eyes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that–I suppose I can see the draw. It’s just not for me.
However, caterpillar couples can also be found all over the world. This means that you’re bound to run into one or two or ten, depending upon how frequently you travel solo. But that’s ok, because now that you know about the two different couple types, you can quickly and easily identify them ‘in the wild’ (just don’t throw a big net over them and pin them to a board–they might not like that very much).
As a solo traveler, it is your job to find butterfly couples and steer clear of caterpillar couples. Because butterfly couples will enrich your travels and quite possibly turn into life long friends, whereas caterpillar couples want absolutely nothing to do with you and, in fact, might be disturbed by your presence. Some couples are so very caterpillar-esque that they can’t even understand why a person would travel solo in the first place. But you know why–and secure in that knowledge, you can move on to the next bar, pool chair, or tour bus seat. That’s the beauty of solo travel–you’re free to do just that.
For all of you solo travelers out there–have you encountered both types of couples on your travels? And couple travelers–are you a butterfly or a caterpillar? Or have you (appropriately, given the metaphor) changed from one to the other at some point in your life?
“Butterfly couples” are my absolute favorite people to talk to when I travel solo, even more so then other solo travelers.
You know, I never really thought about solos vs couples, but now that I am, you’re kind of right. I like outgoing couples. They are fun and have stories to tell from their lives together–and often seem very pleased to be sharing them with someone else. It’s as though these couples enhance their own relationship–with each other–buy sharing with a stranger (me!) Which is awesome!
Loved this description! Good example to share with students on compare/contrast without resorting to listing.
Now some news. Partly due to your inspiration (taking a year off to write your book) and partly to some encouragement from recent encouters with Home Health professionals and others, I am now working on a “book”! For several years I have been ‘developing’ a way of keeping up with all the important health information, records, etc. for my mother-in-law (I am her primary caregiver). No I am working on turing this into a marketable product. Just started. May need encouragement from YOU sometimes!
Also- I’m really starting to look forward to you stopping by on one of your upcoming trips!
That’s awesome! Congratulations!!! I would be happy to encourage you. I now know what it is like to go back and forth between enthusiastic about and annoyed by a book-in-progress. I’d be happy to help you along the way.
It’s looking like my big road trip is not going to happen. However, I can and will still come down that way–still likely at the end of March or the beginning of April. I will keep you updated as plans grow and change. Because they always do!
Interesting. I’d hope that my husband and I are a butterfly couple, but we are both a little shy so we might not always come off that way. We do try to be friendly and have talked to others while vacationing before, but we don’t necessarily seek out others. I love to meet others and talk to new people but I am just so awkward at doing it!
Don’t worry–I’m sure that in the right company, you and your husband are butterflies. Just by saying that you like to meet other and talk to new people puts you in that category. 🙂
Yes! I have encountered both types of couples, and I have to say, as a solo traveler, I prefer the butterflies. As you say, I’d be very limited if I could only seek out other solo travelers to befriend on the road, and butterflies are just so easy to hang out with.
I’m glad you agree with the need to befriend all types of people–including couples. I think I spent too much time on previous trips looking for ‘other solos’, when I should have simply been my generally social self. And anyway, with a butterfly couple, you make TWO friends. Which is always better than one. 😉
I’ve never thought of it but you’re right. Butterflies just inspire on the whole. Some are like host/hostesses and travel is their party; and you always feel welcome around them. These are likeable from the start. There are also catepillar-butterflies… the slow-starters, who attempt to be social in order to be polite, but once they’re woo’ed out of the cocoon, they’re a little quirky, oddball and kinda fun.
Ah–I hadn’t thought of the caterpillar-butterfly hybrid, but you are absolutely correct! Perhaps because I’m a true butterfly. I think it’s an only child thing–I never had anyone around when I was growing up, so I became naturally extroverted as a way of making friends. Either way, it has served me well as an adult and as a traveler.
Of course, I love all things quirky, oddball, and fun–so I’m all for meeting any type of person who fits those descriptions!