TBEX 2013: Why I’m Afraid to Attend A Travel Blogging Conference
I’m going to be at The North American Travel Blog Exchange Annual Conference in Toronto during the first week of June. It’s months away, and I’m already a bit nervous.
Ok–‘a bit nervous’ is an understatement.
Why? Well, not for the usual reasons. The usual reason most writers are afraid of any type of conference or convention is because of the social factor. As a group, writers are rather introverted. I am the exception to that rule. I’ve made friends at laundromats, in line for the ladies room, and–in the virtual world–in comment streams and travel forums across the internet. I live to meet new people. I’m not afraid of being able to make friends at TBEX.
Do I look shy? Because I’m super-not!
I’m also not afraid of not being able to make friends at TBEX. Having traveled solo more often than not over the last few years, I’m completely at home with my own company. So that’s not it, either.
No, what I’m afraid of is much deeper than social anxiety. I’m afraid that attending TBEX will end my blogging career forever.
Years ago, I attended The Breadloaf Writers’ Conference at Middlebury College in Middlebury, Vermont. Often considered one of the premier writing conferences in North America, I was thrilled to be accepted. It was an actual dream-come-true for me.
And then I arrived and learned what a shitty, shitty writer I really was. I learned that, as a public school teacher, I was more than a shitty writer–I was as shitty writer worthy of (at best) pity and (at worst) contempt. Upon hearing that I teach middle school, fellow conference attendees would literally stop speaking to me mid-sentence and wander away. I am not making this up (and I can also tell you that using the word ‘literally’ in anything is a hallmark of terrible writing. Ooops.)
Four years later, I call myself a blogger. I’ve had what I consider success; I’ve been able to share my travels and travel advice with others, I’ve made some friends, I’ve made some connections, and I’ve generally enjoyed myself. I taught myself how to move from a WordPress-hosted account to a self-hosted account, cleaned up the look of my site, and honed my blog writing skills. I became a passable photographer, learned how to use social media in a way that works for me, and even wrote a few guest posts on other travel blogs I admire. I’ve been hosted by several tourism boards, independent tour companies, and hotel chains. I even created an entire unit–and accompanying site–to teach blogging to my 140 eighth grade students as a way to enrich my nonfiction writing unit. In short, I’ve been able to do what I love as much as possible and share that love with others. I can’t think of a better way to spend every single one of my non-working, non-sleeping hours.
But all of these things I learned on my own, through trial and error. I’ve never been told the ‘proper’ way to do things. Not once. And come June 1st, I’m going to learn that proper way from lots of people who are far more knowledgeable and far more successful than I am–and likely far more successful than I’ll ever be (though a girl can dream). I’m so, so afraid that I’ll become paralyzed by how much I’m doing wrong, change the way I work, and give up in frustration or despair.
I’m also very afraid that I’ll finally get to meet many of the bloggers I idolize–and many that I should be idolizing but don’t know yet–and feel so inferior that I’ll also give up in frustration or despair.
Don’t get me wrong–I know that I have a lot to learn. So much, in fact, that I’m sure there are things I don’t even know that I don’t even know (follow that?) I’m not perfect and The Suitcase Scholar could stand a great deal of improvement. That’s why I’m going to TBEX. I’m not afraid to learn that I need to do things differently; I’m afraid to learn that I’ve been doing everything wrong all along.
I love The Suitcase Scholar. It is the thing that makes working a full-time job I don’t love completely worthwhile. Every day, at the end of the day, I leave behind that-which-earns-me-money and spend time working on that-which-brings-me-joy. I don’t want TBEX–or anything else– to take that away from me.
UPDATE: Many days after this post was written but several days before it was published, it snowed. What does this have to do with anything, you ask? It means that I need to deal with yet another snow make-up day at work (I’m a teacher); thus, it will now be INFINITELY more difficult for me to attend TBEX. Given my trepidation–and this new roadblock–should I consider skipping it? Share your opinion in the comments below. Thanks!
For now, just wait. If there are more make-up days and it get too complicated, then you know that ‘fate/the world/whatever’ is telling you this is not the year.
But, if you do go, DO NOT let it make you think that your blog is not good ‘enough’. There are plenty of us who enjoy it!!! I’d REALLY REALLY REALLY miss it if you stopped. Who cares if it is not just like some other travel blog. I prefer my peanut butter sandwiches without jelly. That doesn’t make them BAD- just different. I find your blog refreshing, honest, funy, open, and mostly INTERESTING. Your photography is great! You’ve come a long way baby- in a short amount of time.
And many of my favorite authors didn’t have ‘professional’ cred … or were originally told they weren’t doing things the proper way. Erma Bombeck, Bill Bryson, Robert Fulgum, … just to name a few.
Also, I still have my fingers crossed that ‘what earns you money’ will soon be ‘what gives you joy’- no, not that you’ll like teaching school more- that’ll SOMETHING will come along so that travel and writing (and maybe a little education) will be how you make a living.
oh- just found out that our evening chef at Rodi is a finalist in the Charlotte ‘Iron Fork’ contest! (Charlotte’s take on Iron Chef) Final competition is April 17th I think. Keep your fingers crossed for James!!!
You definitely have to face your fears and go now. Can you get a sub?
Sadly, I can’t. I am already using ALL of my personal days AND all of the unpaid days I’m allowed to take. It still may be possible–I just need to talk to my superintendent about some additional unpaid days. They should approve it, since they are due to snow make up days. I’ll let you know!
I’ve attend a couple of TBEX conferences. Both were beneficial to me for different reasons – networking, learning, etc. But always the folks have been fun and supportive. If you’re struggling on something and talking with someone about it, the general response is, “yeah, we’ve been there before, too. Here’s what you might want to look at doing.” So, I’d say, if you can make it, do so. It can be a fun time. Hope to see you there!
Good to hear that it is a supportive environment! If all of these comments are any indication, it’s a SUPER supportive community! Be thankful for that–not all events like this have the same…vibe (for lack of a much better term!)
I think you will find TBEX to be a lot more uplifting than you think. There are so many people that want everyone to succeed and will bend over backwards to help you out. Even though many of us have been blogging for years, we are all still learning new things every day.
Can’t wait to meet you!
Awesome! That is EXACTLY my attitude. I’ve been doing this since 2009 and trust me, those early years were BAD. Embarrassing, even. I know I have so much more to learn always.
Oh I hope you come! Travel bloggers are not nearly as catty as those terrible writers you described (I mean really, who DOES stuff like that??). I think one of the great things about travel blogging is that it’s so broad and so new that there is no one definition of success. There’s no wrong way to do it. We’re all kind of throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks.
This June will be my 5th (!!) TBEX and I’ve found the rewards of the conference to be quite literally life changing. The professional development stuff is great, as are the contacts, but getting to interact with the community in person has been nothing but affirming and encouraging for me.
VERY good point about the ‘no definition of success’ thing. In fact, I was just speaking to a friend about this–she was like ‘what makes a travel blog successful’ and I tried to answer her. But there IS no one answer.
To stick up for the ‘terrible writers’ (some of whom were actually terrible people) for the most part they were REALLY nice people–it’s just SUCH a competitive world. I don’t blame them. Kind of like ‘don’t hate the player, hate the game’? Wow now THERE’S a phrase I never thought I’d utter (or type)!
I understand your fears entirely! It also sucks that writers deal with a lot of rejection, so we are more prone to feeling self-conscious when it comes to this type of event than others.
That being said, those bloggers who ignored you based on your occupation are shallow losers. What I’ve encountered is that full time bloggers don’t quite understand how people can have real, 9-5 jobs and find time to write on top of that, especially if they make money as well. To them, we are intimidating because that’s not how their lives played out and they just don’t get it. So they don’t really know what to say when they hear about people like us.
I work for a travel agency but I’m also studying to be a teacher. I think that niche travel is starting to blossom and those other travel bloggers know that soon, their generic blogs will be ousted by those who have a consistent theme. What is great however is to find SUPPORTIVE travel bloggers and stick to them like glue. I’ll be at TBEX this year and I will TOTALLY hang out with you, I’m sure we have a lot of notes to swap!
Aww thanks! It clearly seems like I HAVE TO come (I’ll find a way–I’m currently in Miami when I shouldn’t be able to be, so I’ll find a way around work…I hope) I will definitely hang out with you (I’m super friendly, in case I didn’t mention that enough times in this post!)
I hold no ill will against any bloggers–and for the record, the people who snubbed me were writers, not bloggers. Literary writers. And most of them WERE nice. It’s just that the few of them that were mean were SO mean it was literally stunning. As in ‘standing there, mouth open, stunned’.
And yes, it is hard balancing everything. But I do it because I love it. I think I just need to keep that in mind.
Thanks so much for the encouragement! And best of luck on your studies!
I hope you are able to come. It will be my first TBEX too. My experience with most bloggers is that, unlike the “writers” you encountered at the Middlebury conference, travel bloggers are much less full of themselves and are willing to share and help. It sounds like you are ahead of me in the learning curve, so there will be at least one person feeling more clueless than you.
If you’d like, we can be clueless together! Perhaps we could even have a ‘clueless meetup’! Clueless solidarity!
Tracy, I love that you expressed these fears – and I *really* hope that they don’t prevent you from attending TBEX.
I don’t think you’re alone in worrying that you’re “doing things wrong,” but y’know what? One of the beauties of this crazy world we travel bloggers inhabit is that there’s a variety of “right” ways to do things. I don’t know you, but given what you’ve written here, I would be shocked if you ended up feeling like you were “doing things wrong” when you got to TBEX. Shocked, I tell you!
You may well be overwhelmed by new things to try (not to mention all the new people you’ll meet) – many people are after the conference – but that kind of buzz is usually a positive thing, not a negative one.
If you’re still debating, if you’re still concerned, please send me an email – I would be more than happy to talk about this with you.
Aww thanks! Well, as you can see, I’ve had a flurry of support. Which is awesome.
And I do like the idea of overwhelmed by new things. TBEX comes at a good time; very near the end of my school year (and what appears to be my last year of teaching ever) and right before a two-month cross country trip. So I’d have the time–and the material–to use all that I learn. As long as I can 1. become brave enough to attend and 2. get the time off. I’ll be working on both!
I’m not exaggerating to say that the TBEX community was a critical source of support for me during an extremely difficult time last year (before I was actually part of the staff!). And yeah, as you can see now from the comments here and on Facebook, it’s a pretty awesome group. 🙂
Yes–that has become abundantly clear. I just spoke with my husband on the phone (I’m away on work right now) and told him something like ‘well, I guess my first order of business when I get home is figuring out how to move around my personal days’!
My experience with TBEX (and I’ve been to every single one held in the U.S.) is that it’s less about learning what you’re doing right and wrong and more about connecting with people who understand. I’ve never felt more like I was with my “tribe” than at TBEX. It’s a like-minded, fun crowd.
Also: There are tons of industry people there who want to meet you and here why you are great to work with. I’ve gotten more opportunities to go places and see things from attending TBEX than any other conference.
Will there be unfriendly people who think they are better than you? Sure, I guess. But I think that you’ll find they are few and far between. And since there’s not one “right” way to be a blogger, what you should be able to pick up is tips that are right for you and your blog and then you can disregard the rest.
And of course, that would be “hear” not “here” – since I’m writing to a teacher. 🙂
Hey–I’m a human. I know that typos happen! 😉
This keeps coming up again and again: that there’s no one right way. That is SO reassuring. Thank you!
Also–love the ‘tribe’ reference. I’ve felt like that a few times in my life–specifically at a spiritual retreat I attended for several years as well as at a different writing conference than the one I spoke of here. And hey–now that I think about it–THAT writing conference was awesome. And I totally didn’t consider that when thinking about this. Thanks for jarring my memory!
I am also attending TBEX, and I have NO CLUE what to expect. I think you answered your own questions in your post, however – yes, definitely go to TBEX, but go to make friends and meet other bloggers (like me! Hi!). If you end up taking away some info and advice on blogging, well, great, that’s a bonus. You wrote that having your blog makes you happy, and that you love it as it is, so…keep it that way! At the end of the day, that’s what is so wonderful about blogging – it can be whatever you want it to be. I’m sure I’ll learn some extremely valuable things at the conference, but I like how I blog and I can’t imagine vastly changing it just because somebody tells me to. I’m looking at TBEX as a way to learn more about what I love to do, and as a way to meet other bloggers. I’m not nervous about having someone tell me what I’m doing is wrong – if I love it, how can it possibly be anything but right? It’s MY blog, after all, just as Suitcase Scholar is yours.
Hope to see you there! -Brenna
What a FABULOUS attitude! I feel like I need to write down parts of that comment as an affirmation. Repeat ten times per day: “If I love it, how can it possibly be anything but right?” LOVE that!
I hope you can attend. I think you’d have a great time. (Especially if you are an extrovert 🙂
I’m a totally self-taught blogger and went to TBEX last year for the first time. It was really inspirational.
I learned a lot, but none of what I learned made me feel like I had been doing everything “wrong.” Instead it opened up a whole world of other ideas, practices, and techniques to consider. The more you know, the more you can decide for yourself what you do and don’t want to do.
It also seemed like the more experienced and successful a blogger was, the more understanding, supportive, and friendly they were. The people you admire know what they are doing, but they are also always trying new things and know how much work it is. They get it. People were just so generous with their time and knowledge, it was really impressive.
That’s great to hear. In many other areas of life, people who are successful simply put down people who are still learning (though not in my profession–I’m a teacher. We ALWAYS want to help!) Perhaps that’s why I’m so turned off by the opposite attitude.
Tracy,
No one knows what they hell they are doing. Everyone is figuring this out at they go along, so there is no right or wrong per se, there is only what works and what doesn’t.
Doing stuff wrong has been the key to my success. I’ve done tons of things wrong. I’m doing things wrong right now. The key is being able to identify what is wrong and then changing it quickly.
That is how you get better. Fail quickly, abandon whatever doesn’t work and move on. Trying to be perfect is the surest way to failure.
“Trying to be perfect is the surest way to failure.”–how very, very true.
The thing that is striking me about all of this feedback is how able to accept their own imperfection everyone is. It’s truly refreshing–and not something you find in every area of life (or profession). Particularly I’ve found that teachers (of which I am one) tend to believe that they are doing things The Right Way (caps intended) and that is one of the biggest obstacles to being an effective teacher (or an effective anything).
I’m sincerely glad to find that this attitude does not exist in the blogging community.
This is my first TBEX too – i just started writing a few months ago and I’ve found that everyone i’ve asked about the conference has said it is great to connect with other like minded people and very open. In my opinion, there will never be one right way, there are too many people, places to see and travel styles for anyone to see through the same lens – we are all unique and i love to read blogs that highlight this.
Your blog looks GREAT, especially considering you just started! I’m impressed! I’m sure you’ll get a lot out of TBEX.
I’m also mainly looking forward to connecting with others. And hey–I just ‘met’ you, so there’s that!
At this point I’m convinced that I SHOULD go and that I WANT to go. I just can’t seem to figure out the logistics of it. I’m having issues with getting time off from work (though that can always be overcome…cough…cough…sniffle…if I get into one of the pre or post conference trips I’m going to be REALLY sick that week!); the main problem is money. Toronto is expensive! I’m seriously considering staying VERY outside of city center and driving in each day, as I’ll be driving to Toronto anyway and will thus have a car. I see you are from Philadelphia–I live in the Allentown area, just a bit north of you. Are you flying?
Thanks so much – Since i am new, no pre/post trips to submit for so just a quick weekend for me. I am flying with an award ticket – when the US/AA merger was announced I applied for US credit card for 40k miles so am using 20k of those +$86 for the flights. A few people from our Philly travel group are going too – some are driving also. They are looking at AirBnB for options. We often meet in the KofP area if you ever wanted to join us (we rotate Philly & suburbs on a monthly basis – given that we all travel its a bit of herding cats but usually have a few show up consistently). A few bloggers, points enthusiasts and general travelers. Hope you go to TBEX to meet you
I’d love to meet up for one of your gatherings! King of Prussia isn’t far from me at all–I often randomly drive to Limerick to shop at the outlets (it’s only a half hour away, and I HATE our local mall–and sometimes I need clothing!)
I was afraid of attending my first blogging conference – TBEX Copenhagen in 2010. Make a point of getting to know a few bloggers, perhaps find who else is staying at the same hotel as you or dorm share. There will be HUNDREDS of us so I’m sure you’ll find some people who you love, and hopefully like I did at my first conference, make life long friends.
TBEX is great for newbies and oldies alike. It’s a place to meet and share ideas – regardless of level of experience. Heck, there’s even a blogger house (run by Navigate Media) if you feel like you’d like some more practical sessions. =)
Don’t hesitate to pop me a message ( @NicoleTravelBug) and hopefully we can meet up for a wee drink or coffee or two! 🙂
I’m going to TBEX 2013 for the first time as well. I have a fairly new blog and i’m learning as I go. If you are doing everything wrong (which I’m guessing your are not because I found you on Google) you will learn so much from all the other bloggers who attend. Networking with bloggers is also key as we can share our resources. So I say go to the conference and I hope I see you there! Sharon @DreamTravelMag!
Ha! I love your parenthetical! That’s good to hear!
I see you are local. Any Toronto tips? I just signed up for a bunch of the tours–I’m pretty psyched now. Aside from paying what I consider an arm and a leg for lodging, I’m feeling good about it. I WILL be there. See you then!!!
I’ve been afraid to go too and for many of the same reasons. I’m actually glad to have read this post and hear about someone else who is afraid to go too… I hope you’re able to get there and if you do, I’d love to meet you! @elaineschoch
In perusing your blog, I’m thinking we may be kindred blogging spirits! (Full disclosure–another one of my TBEX fears is that I’m not ‘full time’–I, too, have a day job. More than one day job, actually!) I will follow you on Twitter as soon as I get home from work (it is blocked here–boo!)
And I’m glad to hear that this post helped! I will be in Toronto for sure (booked a hotel and everything) so we should meet up! I’m going mainly to make blogger friends. I need to widen my world; I’ve been a lonely blogger in a world of muggles for far too long. 😉
EDIT–sorry that this response is so scattered. Did I mention I have far too many jobs? Today is crazy…
I know I’m super late to this comment party, but this is my first TBEX, too! I’m totally nervous but I’m sure everyone there is going to be great. I’ve heard such good things. I hope you’re still going! (And if so, are you going on one of the pre/post trips?)
There’s no such thing as too late!
I’m aslo nervous, but feeling better and better the more I learn about it. Twitter has been extremely helpful.
And yes, I’m going. I’m doing the pre-conference fam trip to Sudbury Monday-Wednesday, and then…other things on Thursday, Friday, and Monday. I think–urban national park on Thursday, Around the World in a City on Friday, and a paddling trip on Monday. And then I drive home 8 hours monday night and work on Tuesday. Whew!
Oh–and GORGEOUS blog, btw!